Hi Kysha,
Well, I’ve gone over the whole paper, and I see that it still has some serious citation issues, which it would be negligent of me to ignore. If I do that, I’m setting you up to be penalized by future professors, and possibly people you work with, for plagiarism, even if it’s accidental. I think you know, from our class and our conversations afterwards, that I am not a petty or unkind person who wishes to see people suffer (while I’m writing, I should add here that “suffrage,” while it sounds like “suffering,” actually means something quite different: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/suffrage). I just really need you to fix the following, which I’m going to lay out in their order of appearance along with explanations and suggestions. This way, I’m hoping that you can do what needs to be done in an hour, or maybe even less time.
Page 1
You: pass out petitions, organize a civilized vigil, and return to work the next day.
This should be written: “…pass out petitions, organize a civilized vigil,/return to work the next day” (18-19).
Explanation: This is not a super-serious problem as you clearly mean to be quoting from the poem. However, you really should have a second pair of quotation marks after the word “day” followed by the line numbers in parentheses and then a period. Also, for poetry quotes of three lines or under, you want to separate the lines with slash marks.
Page 2
You: a third-millennium call from this day on no more, not me, not my daughter, not her daughter either it has dawned on me…
This should be written: “A third-millennium call–/from this day on no more, not me, not my daughter,/not her daughter either” (35-37), it has dawned on me…
Explanation: While this is also not a serious problem, I did notice it and thought I should point out a few things. You want to include the dash that Castillo uses in her poem because you’re quoting her exactly and to capitalize the “A” because she does. Once again, I’d put slash marks between the lines you’re quoting and also indicate the line numbers in parentheses at the end of the quote followed by a comma (usually, there would be a period) because what you write after the quote can stand on its own as a complete sentence.
Page 3
You: We have seen the toppling of some extremely powerful male figures who have been operating with impunity for decades, finally cut down.
Filipovic (par. 1) writing in Time Magazine: After decades of operating with impunity as one of the most powerful men in entertainment, Harvey Weinstein has been brought down.
Explanation: Even though Filipovic is writing about one person, and you’re writing about many, these two passages are still much too similar. I’d either quote Filipovic directly (here’s the link to her article since you don’t have it in your Works Cited list–which should be alphabetized, by the way: https://time.com/4979258/harvey-weinstein-what-happens-next/) or greatly change your wording.
Page 4
You: the kind of women who were molested in their childhood, either through rape, harassment, assault, that means every last one or sooner or later. (45) Women who cannot and do not know how to defend themselves and those who have always protected themselves seem to be unable to or refuse to even rise in arms.
Castillo:
women who were molested as children
raped,
beaten,
harassed, which means
every last one sooner or later;
women who’ve defended themselves
and women who can’t or don’t know how
we don’t–won’t ever rise up in arms. (25-32)
Explanation: There are several problems here. First, you’ve got a quote that does not, in fact, contain Castillo’s exact wording, and that’s followed by one incorrect number, 45, when you’re actually dealing with lines 25-29. Then, you’ve got what’s supposedly not a quote but contains very similar wording to Castillo’s. These problems have a very easy solution: After you introduce the quote, skip a space, indent twice, and just use exactly what is presented above under the name “Castillo” (for quotes over three lines, block formatting replaces quotation marks, and the line numbers in parentheses, otherwise known as a parenthetical citation, go after the period instead of before).
Page 5
You: This literary theory sees economic and cultural disabilities in a society that is patriarchal and hinders or prevents women from realizing their possibilities and their cultural identification. Women are merely seen as harmless objects and men are viewed as defining and dominating subjects. (Appleman, Paragraph 4)
Appleman: A Feminist Critic sees cultural and economic disabilities in a patriarchal society which have hindered or prevented women from realizing their creative possibilities and womens cultural identification is as a merely negative object, or Other to man as the defining and dominating Subject.
You: The concept of gender and cultural constructs are primarily affected by the omnipresent patriarchal biases of our civilization (Appleman, Paragraph 4).
Appleman: The concepts of gender are largely, if not entirely, cultural constructs, effected by the omnipresent patriarchal biases of our civilization.
Explanation: Thanks for working to fix these. The thing is, as I just wrote, quotes need to be exact. If you want to capture the gist of what someone is saying but not quote that person, your wording needs to be very different. If you’re using a combination of exact wording and your own, then you need to put quotation marks around what is exact.
Just FYI, you want to indicate the paragraph(s) of the quotes/ideas by writing “par.” as opposed to the whole word, and you want to consistently place the period after the parentheses (unless you’re using block formatting as I discussed in relation to the previous page).
Page 6
You: The gender studies and queer theory talks about the issues of power, sexuality, and women in literature and culture. The primary concern of this theory is how gender and sexuality are discussed (Purdue University, Paragraph 1).
Purdue OWL: Gender studies and queer theory explore issues of sexuality, power, and marginalized populations (woman as other) in literature and culture….A primary concern in gender studies and queer theory is the manner in which gender and sexuality is discussed:
Explanation: Here, you do have a parenthetical citation, but you don’t use any quotation marks, even though your wording is very similar to Purdue OWL’s. Once again, you need to put quotation marks around exact wording, use very different words if you’re paraphrasing, and do both if you’re combining some exact wording and some of your own language.
You: This critic working on this theory might be uncomfortable with the binary establishment between the masculine and feminine by many feminist scholars.
Purdue OWL: a critic working in gender studies and queer theory might even be uncomfortable with the binary established by many feminist scholars between masculine and feminine:
Explanation: Your wording and Purdue OWL’s are almost exactly the same, but you don’t use quotation marks, and you don’t have a parenthetical citation.
Page 7
You: Borrowing especially from the Queer literary theory in explaining the situation of women that Castillo depicts, she focuses on the same notion of the method of sex and the sexuality by considering women as a marginalized sexual identity that could not fit into the hegemonic social discourses in the society.
Piantato, par. 1: “…the word queer….turned into a symbol of struggle against heterosexual culture, becoming a term of reference for those marginal sexualities that could not fit into the traditional discourse
about gender and sexuality.
Explanation: The last part of this sentence in your paper is almost exactly the same as what’s written by G. Piantato in the article “How has queer theory influenced the ways we think about gender?” Once again, you need to use quotation marks around exact language and a have a parenthetical citation at the end. In all cases, language needs to be accurately quoted or completely your own, not mostly exact language with a few different words or the order turned around. Copying and pasting something, changing some words and/or the order of some words, and not including quotation marks or parenthetical citations is plagiarizing, even if the intent is not to plagiarize.
Finally, I should point out that on page 6, you mention using Marxism and Critical Theory, but on page 8, say you used Reader Response.
I really hope that the above is both clear and helpful.
Regards,
Karen
